.:My Heart's a Mess:.
Work was fine... they gave me a $50 bar tab, so I used that up and had a pretty good time. The I had to walk about 500 km to find a taxi since everyone was trying to get one at the same time. I ended up at the Ambar and had to jump one to get in before 3 other groups of people. Exciting stuff.
On Friday night I bumped into JBJ's sister and told her that we'd broken up. She was pretty shocked and kinda freaked out and left. It was very very weird. But then later I saw her outside when we were having a smoke and she said she was just surprised and everything was fine. We hung out a couple of days later, so i think its all okay. We became good friends over the last couple of years, so I think we'll stay friends which is nice.
I think JBJ has finally told people about us splitting up. Its been about 3-4 weeks now. Its very strange. We still talk every day, but have only seen each other once. We're supposed to meet up tomorrow, which will be alright. I miss him.... but I know its the right decision. I also still find him incredibly hot which is difficult.
I'm a bit all over the place at the moment.
Things are happening, life is speeding off without me.
I feel like I'm holding on with my fingertips as it races by.
I don't trust anyone. I don't trust myself. I don't trust my own feelings.
I can't quite pin myself down to work out what I'm thinking, or why.
Sometimes I'm incredibly happy, and other times I feel like death and can't hold it in.
At Gotye would say, my Heart's a Mess.
This has been one of the worst years of my life.
Maybe this is the turning point to the upside?
I think I'm going to commit myself to thinking that.
I'm on my way up, and out of this shit.
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