.:My Heart's a Mess:.
Work was fine... they gave me a $50 bar tab, so I used that up and had a pretty good time. The I had to walk about 500 km to find a taxi since everyone was trying to get one at the same time. I ended up at the Ambar and had to jump one to get in before 3 other groups of people. Exciting stuff.
On Friday night I bumped into JBJ's sister and told her that we'd broken up. She was pretty shocked and kinda freaked out and left. It was very very weird. But then later I saw her outside when we were having a smoke and she said she was just surprised and everything was fine. We hung out a couple of days later, so i think its all okay. We became good friends over the last couple of years, so I think we'll stay friends which is nice.
I think JBJ has finally told people about us splitting up. Its been about 3-4 weeks now. Its very strange. We still talk every day, but have only seen each other once. We're supposed to meet up tomorrow, which will be alright. I miss him.... but I know its the right decision. I also still find him incredibly hot which is difficult.
I'm a bit all over the place at the moment.
Things are happening, life is speeding off without me.
I feel like I'm holding on with my fingertips as it races by.
I don't trust anyone. I don't trust myself. I don't trust my own feelings.
I can't quite pin myself down to work out what I'm thinking, or why.
Sometimes I'm incredibly happy, and other times I feel like death and can't hold it in.
At Gotye would say, my Heart's a Mess.
This has been one of the worst years of my life.
Maybe this is the turning point to the upside?
I think I'm going to commit myself to thinking that.
I'm on my way up, and out of this shit.
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.:Blast from the Past:.
I'm going to work in about 40 minutes. I'm talking about Geisha nightclub work - which incidently I quit ... over a year and a half ago... but they were short on staff so I'm filling in. I've done this twice before (maybe three times?) for the extra moolah, but every time I get ready to go, I swear to myself that I'll never do it again. And then for the first hour in the bar I feel like a total retardo - I'm way too old to still be working there - even if it is only a "one" off.
Anyway, I'm going through the same routine and it brought me back to the good old blogging days, when working at the club would always provide something interesting to write the next day. I miss my old blog. I admit that I'm too chicken shit to republish it again (it still all here) because the shit I used to write about - ohh la la! Hrmm, I seemed to have misplaced my testicles.
So I felt like reopening this blog, which is actually Melika blog number 3, as it has the least rude shit on it. Although I do notice a lot of whining, but I doubt that'll change :) And the reason I took it down has resolved itself, so I'm happy about that.
On a completely different topic, I went out with my friend James last night. We started off at the Brisbane and then headed to Ambar. We had a great night out - I got a little drunk - and I chewed his ear off about all sorts of topics just like the good old days. Unfortunately I was pretty fucked up all day today, and as soon as I pulled myself together, I realised it was time to go out and work, so decided I deserved a glass of wine for my wonderous efforts.
So, working at Geisha again. I won't know any of the current staff, except the 2IC called Caleb. He's a super hotty, but we're such good friends its gone past the consideration stage. Plus, I love asking him about his sex life and trying as hard as I can to pry any information out of him that I can. This is next to impossible as he is rather private. I'll have to work on that.......
That sounds like i'm a total gossip, but its really more about curiousity. I'm so curious about other people and the way they think, why they think that way, yadda yadda. Perhaps I should have studied psychology rather than anthropology.
This stream of consciousness is getting rather long. Training Day is on TV. I know a lot of people didn't really like that movie, but I personally thought it was great. It'd be up there on my list...
I need a smoke.
Oh well, we'll see if this continues,
Bye bye.
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